Yeah, I got lazy with the movie reviews, which made me think I deserve a royal ass whooping. Hence I started to write down all the titles of the movies I saw and this, my dear ladies and gentlemen, is a list with tiny commentary of all the movies I have watched starting from December 2009 to April 2010. Enjoy! Possible-spoilers ahoy!

◯◯一 $5 a Day (2008)
◯◯◯ A quite pointless movie, so pointless in fact I don’t know why they even filmed it.
◯◯二 9 (2009)
◯◯◯ 3D-animation goes emo.
◯◯三 Adam (2009)
◯◯◯ Actually gave an interesting view of Asperger syndrome… assburger, hehe.
◯◯四 Astro Boy (2009)
◯◯◯ The Americans raped Tezuka Osamu, and I was too old for this movie, but it was pretty okay anyway.
◯◯五 Avatar (2009)
◯◯◯ Space Pocahontas. Amazing animation, for all other purposes watch the Disney version.
◯◯六 Be With You (いま、会いにゆきます, Ima, Ai ni Yukimasu) (2004)
◯◯◯ Mellow Japanese movie, sort of cute, sort of lame.
◯◯七 Blind Side, The (2009)
◯◯◯ So Sandra Bullock finally got her Oscar eh? Yeah I don’t get it.
◯◯八 Can’t Buy Me Love (1987)
◯◯◯ Patrick Dempsey – Not even cute as a kid.
◯◯九 Christmas Tale, A (Un conte de Noël) (2009)
◯◯◯ Un film mauvaise. Oo look I still know some french.
◯◯十 Clash of the Titans (2010)
◯◯◯ LotR + Avatar + Greek Mythology – Awesomeness = Clash of the Titans
◯十一 Complete History of My Sexual Failures, A (2008)
◯◯◯ A documentary lacking any sort of intelligible conclusion.
◯十二 Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
◯◯◯ Definitely the best animation of 2009, funny and original!
◯十三 Couples Retreat (2009)
◯◯◯ Just another Hollywood comedy, don’t waste your breath.
◯十四 Crazy/Beautiful (2001)
◯◯◯ Interesting movie as far as themes and human relationships go.
◯十五 Defendor (2009)
◯◯◯ Decent entertainment, a let-down as far as the ending goes.
◯十六 Down in the Valley (2005)
◯◯◯ A very interesting plot, but an even more rushed and let-down ending than in Defendor.
◯十七 Education, An (2009)
◯◯◯ Girl goes to school, girl meets guy and leaves school, guy leaves girl, girl gets back to school. That’s it.
◯十八 A Hole in My Heart (Ett hål i mitt hjärta) (2004)
◯◯◯ A movie by Lukas Moodysson… just… no.
◯十九 Extract (2009)
◯◯◯ A light comedy, nothing special, but still watchable.
◯二十 Final Destination, The (2009)
◯◯◯ Thank God they put an end to all destinations. Too bad they did it with a shitty movie.
二十一 The Girl Who Played with Fire (Flickan som lekte med elden) (2009)
◯◯◯ Sadly a let-down in comparison to the first movie of the trilogy.
二十二 Gozu (極道恐怖大劇場 牛頭 ＧＯＺＵ, Gokudô kyôfu dai-gekijô: Gozu) (2003)
◯◯◯ Miike Takashi is one crazy bastard.
二十三 Hana-bi (はなび, HANA-BI) (1997)
◯◯◯ I much prefer Kitano Takeshi when he isn’t depressed out of his mind.
二十四 Happiness of the Katakuris, The (カタクリ家の幸福, Katakuri-ke no Kôfuku) (2001)
◯◯◯ I repeat, Miike Takashi is one crazy bastard.
二十五 How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
◯◯◯ A great animation movie to start off 2010 with, loved the dragons!
二十六 I’m a Cyborg, but that’s Okay (싸이보그지만 괜찮아, Saibogujiman kwenchana) (2006)
◯◯◯ The title pretty much says it all already.
二十七 I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)
◯◯◯ Horrible high school comedy, beware.
二十ハ Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, The (2009)
◯◯◯ Too bad Heath Ledger’s last had to be labeled with “crazy”.
二十九 Invention of Lying, The (2009)
◯◯◯ A very refreshing plot and story with that bleak British comedy.
◯三十 Inglorious Basterds (2009)
◯◯◯ Tarantino was clearly not on his A-game and experienced severe American nazi-angst.
三十一 Kick-Ass (2010)
◯◯◯ A good, but definitely not kick-ass movie. Great acting.
三十二 Knocked Up (2007)
◯◯◯ I avoided this movie for so long because I can’t stand Katherine Heigl. It was pretty funny though.
三十三 Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
◯◯◯ Action movies tend to numb your brains out at some point, this one didn’t! Woo!
三十四 Love Exposure (愛のむきだし, Ai no Mukidashi) (2008)
◯◯◯ Four hours of painful Japanese kind of crazy. Not good.
三十五 The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (Luftslottet som sprängdes)(2009)
◯◯◯ The high of the first part of the trilogy kept me going, but I still got disappointed.
三十六 Men who Stare at Goats, The (2009)
◯◯◯ This movie had so much potential, but it delivered absolutely nothing.
三十七 Paranormal Activity (2007)
◯◯◯ I don’t like scary movies, but this one still tingles my brain when I think about it!
三十ハ Passion of Mind (2000)
◯◯◯ One of those movies that tries to be all psychological, cool, n’shit, but fails.
三十九 Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)
◯◯◯ Why are the Greek Gods in the States? Sense. This movie makes none.
◯四十 Perfume: The Story of Murderer (2006)
◯◯◯ A movie I would possibly consider calling aesthetically pleasing. Go figure.
四十一 Post Grad (2009)
◯◯◯ Probably crap according to all standards, but I like this sort of happy go lucky college stuff.
四十二 Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009)
◯◯◯ Good movie, but I can’t say i was very moved by it.
四十三 Hush Little Baby (Se Min Kjole) (2009)
◯◯◯ Lots of angst and lots of clichés.
四十四 Sex is Zero (색즉시공, Saekjeuk Shigong) (2002)
◯◯◯ I lack experience in Korean college movies, but if they are all this bad…
四十五 Sherlock Holmes (2009)
◯◯◯ Decent entertainment value at least, as one would expect from Guy Ritchie gone Hollywood.
四十六 She’s the Man (2006)
◯◯◯ An alright teen comedy with the ever-so-predictable plot.
四十七 Shutter Island (2009)
◯◯◯ Not the most successful attempt at realistic mystery, but I suppose they were aiming for confusion.
四十ハ Somersault (2004)
◯◯◯ The naive and IQ-lacking main character made me cringe through the entire movie.
四十九 Sorority Row (2009)
◯◯◯ Just another one of those crappy “scary” movies.
◯五十 Thirst (박쥐, Bakjwi) (2009)
◯◯◯ Korean vampire movie, pretty interesting if compared to the western standard.
五十一 New Moon (2009)
◯◯◯ I wish death upon every Twilight-fan on the globe.
五十二 Virgin Territory (2007)
◯◯◯ A horrible modern adaptation of Boccaccio’s Decamerone. So not cool.
五十三 Waterboys (ウォーターボーイズ, Wôtâboizu) (2001)
◯◯◯ A rarity among Japanese comedies, it actually made me smile slightly!
五十四 Weather Girl (2009)
◯◯◯ I just couldn’t relate to the extreme mid-life crisis at hand.
五十五 Whatever Works (2009)
◯◯◯ Pretty decent, and I love Woody Allen’s original style of directing movies.
五十六 Youth in Revolt (2009)
◯◯◯ Good comedy, perhaps Michael Cera’s best since Superbad.

It’s one hour and 30 minutes into the movie and I’m just about ready to have a nervous fit and gauge my eyes out. Not because the movie sucks (Edit: Actually the second half sucked balls.), but because it’s only halfway through. Yes, you heard me, I’m talking about Avatar! Oh God, end you stupid movie, END. I might leave it on play while I go to the kitchen and bake some yummies, then I can say I have seen it (while technically only hearing the second half, and not paying proper attention to it anyway) without the actual visual and physical torture of sitting here for another one and a half hours.

Did some well-needed grocery shopping today, which I by all common standards of keeping-the-contents-of-your-fridge-at-a-more-edible-status should have done yesterday (or even Saturday) already. But you know, sometimes it’s just too much of an effort hauling your ass out of the apartment. I did buy a pair of shoes yesterday though, some lovely vintage Marc Jacobs boots for only $60.

Talking about shoes, today I also paid a visit to the local shoemaker/cobbler. Finally getting the zipper fixed on my winter boots and also getting more durable soles for the Jimmy Choo shoes I got a while ago. Ah, shoes ♥

What's that? I'm the hottest man in the universe?

Plot summary:

Between world wars, the Whittaker’s estate is sinking; only the iron will of Mrs. Whittaker staves off bankruptcy while she awaits her son John’s return from the continent. To her dismay, he brings a bride: an American widow who races cars. The bride, Larita, thinks she and John will visit and then go to London, where he’ll work and she’ll race. But John is to the manor born, and mother is nothing if not a master at plans and manipulation. Soon it’s all-out war between mother and bride, with John’s father, a burnt out veteran of the Great War, in the bride’s corner ineffectually.

Ramblings: If Colin Firth is in it I have to see it. Those are the words one that has seen Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice from 1995 must abide by for all eternity. Oh Mr. Darcy! At the beginning of the movie I was quite unimpressed, was this going to be one of those boring Hollywood cliché flicks? Woman has problem with mother in law, woman finds way to play the mother in law’s game, woman meets sudden obstacle and is near failure, mother in law goes through catharsis and all is well. Well, maybe this structure is present even in this movie, but oh was I pleasantly surprised by the ending! All in all maybe not a masterpiece, but a very entertaining movie with a refreshing hint of originality as far as the plot goes.

Score: 3½ out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Protip: If your wife has panic attacks and hits her forehead onto the toilet seat until she bleeds, take her to a mental hospital, not to a small cabin in the woods.

Plot summary:

A couple lose their young son when he falls out the window while they have sex in the other room. The mother’s grief consigns her to hospital, but her therapist husband brings her home intent on treating her depression himself. To confront her fears they go to stay at their remote cabin in the woods, “Eden”, where something untold happened the previous summer. Told in four chapters with a prologue and epilogue, the film details acts of lustful cruelty as the man and woman unfold the darker side of nature outside and within.

Creepy images flash by by as the camera films the rapidly moving scenery from a train. Clearly this adds to von Triers artsy-fartsy credibility.

Ramblings: Nordic Council Film Prize I thought, this movie can’t be all that bad! However after seeing a man’s penis, with the balls in on the swinging action, 1 minute and 15 seconds into the movie I knew something was horribly wrong.  For a while nothing really happened, aside from the woman’s erratic behavior escalating step by step. There were some acorns constantly falling on a roof, a talking fox and one helluva bad marriage. Oh, and a lot of lewdness, and not the good kind. Sure, Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gansbourg can act, but Lars von Trier… you are one sick f*ck.

Score: ½ out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Mark (Schwartzman), Ira (Rogen), and Leo (Hill) are roommates.

Plot summary:

George is a very successful stand up comedian who learns that he has an untreatable blood disorder and is given less than a year to live. Ira is a struggling up-and-coming stand up comedian who works at a deli and has yet to figure out his onstage persona. One night, these two perform at the same club and George takes notice of Ira. George hires Ira to be his semi-personal assistant as well as his friend.

Ramblings: I was possibly expecting more laughs from this movie, considering the main characters are played by Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, not to mention all the other comedians who make an appearance. In stead I found a much larger part of the plot being devoted to the both physical and mental struggle of George (Sandler) against the disease he has been diagnosed with. While this certainly gives a more interesting aspect to the story it also stagnates the whole movie. In the end what you get is a few chuckles here and there, some small bits of action, but mostly just a lonely comedian living a life of luxury while feeling sorry for himself. Nevertheless the movie gave a pretty interesting inside-view on stand up comedy and many of the supporting actors, such as Jonah Hill and Leslie Mann, did a good performance.

Score: 3 out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Plot summary:

This is the story about a Mossad agent Zohan Dvir, who fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist. He romances his clients by giving them “special services” in the back room. However, he is eventually recognized, and risks losing his newfound life and career.

Ramblings: Considering I have liked many of Sandler’s previous movies this one was quite a downer in the end. I suppose a movie about a Mossad agent called Zohan who sexes up old ladies in the backroom after he has given their hair some of that (silky smooth) 80′s flare just isn’t my thing. Sure, they got some cheap laughs out of me but other than that… just… nah.

And that’s really all I had to say about that.

Score: 1½ out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Plot summary:

Jeffrey Blitz directs this comedy that follows in the footsteps of teen outsider indies such Donnie Darko, and Napoleon Dynamite. Set in New Jersey, the film follows Hal Hefner (Reese Thompson) in his attempts to go through high school unnoticed. This is made considerably harder by his obvious stutter and inability to verbalize even the most basic statements, not to mention his thoughts and feelings. Bringing him no help are his strange and abusive older brother Earl (Vincent Piazza), his recently divorced parents, his mother’s live-in boyfriend, and his school’s inadequate speech therapist. When the school’s bossy, attractive debate champion Ginny Ryerson (Anna Kendrick) tries to recruit Hal as her debating partner, good sense tells him no but his hormones cry yes, and soon Hal finds himself confronted with growing feelings for Ginny as well as the looming humiliation of having to compete in the state finals.

Ramblings: Okay fine, I did not really get this movie. The guy stutters, debates some, fails (as all teenagers do) and gets over it. So? This is nowhere near the brilliance of Blitz’s previous movies.

The only thing that really made me react more than with groans of boredom was the introduction to the actual debating hobby people have in the States. While it is a pretty special talent I don’t really see the point in it. You talk a gazillion words per minute and for what? If the emphasis would actually be on the subjects debated and getting an opinion of your own I would understand, but these kids just ramble memorized sentences, word for word. God damn Yankees.

Score: 1 out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Plot summary:

Based on a novel by Philippa Gregory, “The Other Boleyn Girl” revolves around the ferociously ambitious Boleyn sisters, Mary (Scarlett Johansson) and Anne (Natalie Portman), who are rivals for the bed and heart of 16th century English King Henry VIII (Eric Bana).

A sumptuous and sensual tale of intrigue, romance and betrayal set against the backdrop of a defining moment in European history, “The Other Boleyn Girl” tells the story of two beautiful sisters, Anne and Mary Boleyn who, driven by their family’s blind ambition, compete for the love of the handsome and passionate King Henry VIII.

Ramblings: The movie was okay, but perhaps a little bit too melodramatic. I think I enjoyed it right up to where Henry dumped the beautiful Scarlett for miss Portman. Yes, it is a crime to have such a sad (yet happy at the very end, I suppose) ending for the pwettiest actor in the whole wide world :( According to me of course.

At least the story was fairly historically accurate, which often isn’t the case in movies like this. Then again what’s the point if you don’t spice up the plot a bit? Isn’t that what Hollywood is for?

The actors suited their parts well, both Johansson’s and Portman’s looks suited their roles (blonde and soft vs. dark and stern) and the rest of the actors… well… uh… okay so except for Bana perhaps. I mean look at this:

Can I possibly make it anymore obvious? Sure I don’t think Bana is particularly attractive, but the comparison in the image should probably speak for itself.

Also, as a fan of Ugly Betty I couldn’t help noticing this tiny detail in the movie…

Score: 2½ out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Plot summary:

Classic Disney animation meets contemporary urban chaos when a frightened princess is banished from her magical animated homeland to modern-day New York City in a romantic comedy penned by Bill Kelly (Blast from the Past), directed by Kevin Lima (Tarzan), and featuring music by composer Alan Menken and lyricist Stephen Schwartz. Princess Giselle (Amy Adams) lives in the blissful cartoon world of Andalasia, where magical beings frolic freely and musical interludes punctuate every interaction. Though Princess Giselle is currently engaged to be married to the handsome Prince Edward (James Marsden), her fate takes a turn for the worse when the villainous Queen Narissa (Susan Sarandon) banishes her to the unforgiving metropolis of New York City. As the cruelty of the big city soon begins to wear down the fairy-tale exterior of the once carefree princess, the frightened Giselle soon finds herself falling for a friendly but flawed divorce lawyer (Patrick Dempsey) whose kind compassion has helped her to survive in this strange and dangerous new world.

Ramblings: Romantic and funny, I loved it! And also, I love, love, LOVE the music! Ah, where to begin to tell a bit more…

Ok, so one thing that was a bit strange was how old Giselle (Amy Adams) looked like non-animated and I’m not really talking about a big issue, just something I didn’t expect and that made the movie kind of questionable a few times.

The actors were all awesome, Adams was very believable as a princess (or soon-to-be-princess) thrown out of her fairytale world and Dempsey was just so lovable from the beginning to the end. Sometimes Marsden’s character, Prince Edward, seemed a bit overdone, as in “we know Disney movies are cornier than corn but a prince doesn’t have to be that chivalrous and deranged”. The ending was perhaps a bit too predictable, but then again all fairytales are.

Score: 4½ out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!

Plot:

JUNO stars Ellen Page as the title character, a whip-smart teen confronting an unplanned pregnancy by her classmate Bleeker (Michael Cera). With the help of her hot best friend Leah (Olivia Thirlby), Juno finds her unborn child a “perfect” set of parents: an affluent suburban couple, Mark and Vanessa (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner), longing to adopt. Luckily, Juno has the total support of her parents (JK Simmons and Allison Janney) as she faces some tough decisions, flirts with adulthood and ultimately figures out where she belongs.

Ramblings: There has been alot of fuss going on about this movie, it’s so good, Americans want it to win an Oscar (it actually one the Oscar for best original screenplay), yada yada yada, so I figured I had to see it and of course the trailer had awaken my interest, too.

I really do like movies like this, but there were alot of things that made the movie a bit bad. First of all I have never in my life met a person like Juno, so it was quite hard to imagine her personality to be “real”. I could have never imagined such a calm reaction to her pregnancy from her parents and what’s up with that Bleeker kid?! Seriously, you don’t get a girl pregnant, then basically not even try to interact with her before the baby is about to pop out and when you actually talk to her you whine about a broken heart when she says she doesn’t like you. I don’t really know why Juno stopped talking to Bleeker either.

Also, I was so sad when Juno didn’t end up in a relationship with Mark (yes, things like that are mental fetish of mine). Yeah, I know it would have been even less realistic but WHATEVS. Just thinking about it tingles my movie-with-awesome-story-ohmigod-glands.

Score: 3½ out of 5

Misc.: Check out the trailer at Apple Trailers or read more about the movie at IMDb!